IT'S COMPLICATED

I doubt anyone noticed but, I had to change my relationship status from "married" to "it's complicated" this week. After not quite 4 months down here in La Conchita, Jenny, and Julia, moved out. Really after a just couple weeks down here they were already trying to figure how to get back to SB and the Valerio house. Problem is they gave up that house to her sister in law and the guest house is still being rented to UCSB Student, Rose.. Ironically they moved into the trailer. See previous post: FOR SALE - BY OWNER - RINCON SURF PARADISE 2 + 1 $119,000

Now I need to point out. While I have always had a love affair with La Conchita and once tried to talk with no success, Theresa, my first wife, and mother of my children, into a buying a house here. up on Vista del Rincon. (back row but.. that house is still here) That was right before the first big slide. I should say the first big slide reported on by the current mass media. Another deadly slide took place about a quarter mile north of here in 1909 killing 6 people. According to Shamin? Shaman? Shamin is a 35 year resident of La Conchita and has this to add to the 1909 slide. Another 75 Chinese railroad workers not mentioned were also killed in this slide. After losing his house in the 2005 Slide he set up camp on the beach right across the freeway from the 1909 slide. Nice place. Had a stage and everything. Unlike the 2005 slide the bodies were never removed and their spirits are heard from frequently down that way... I haven't quite figured out if Shamin, is actually Shaman, but talking to him sometimes I get the feeling he is "The Shaman" Either way he's a super nice guy and one of the many people who have made me feel quite at home here in the LC. Anyway.. The place has been sliding throughout time. They say these are the fastest growing coastal mountains in the World, United States, California, well I forget.




Back to the point I was trying make in that last paragraph. That is.. It was Jenny who became obsessed with moving to La Conchita over the summer. I have no idea what possessed her but she would not leave the idea alone. To the point we were looking at buying houses here in the late summer (I have to point out we were not even living together at the time) Always the voice of reason I tried to point out the obvious.

1. Some people think it's crazy to live in an area prone to mudslides. I say it's crazy to even get up in the morning. Cars accidents, Black Mold, H1N1, Fires, Floods, Snowstorms, I'll take my chances here. At least on the front row.

2. It's like an island here. The old gas station/store has been closed since the owner committed suicide a few years back, so you can't even go grab beer, ice cream, or a Rincon burger. You need to go to the town.. just north of here if you follow my blog. If you don't drive you are pretty much stuck. Not the greatest set up for my 14 year step daughter Julia. But you can ride your bike to town on the freeway, or walk to the cliffhouse for a delicious lunch. Note: Someone looks to be reopening the Gas Station so.. that will be sweet!

3. Drugs.. Fuck that. There are drugs everywhere. There is the fact that we are on an island, and if you don't surf, like taking long walks on uncrowded beaches, fish, and collect Rincon Creek bricks. There is not much to do. Drugs could be an option. Of course a lot of kids seem bored these days no matter where they live. I guess there was a big pot bust here last week.. But pot come on.

4.1 The Freeway: This is the big one! It poses all sorts of problems here. First and foremost is the left turns against oncoming traffic. Vehicles small, large, and huge, are hurtling themselves at 75 mph on one of the busiest freeways in the world. I saw my first accident about a week ago. No local residents were involved but a truck apparently did some fancy air maneuvers eventually landing on its side. I heard no one was seriously hurt. This would be a good time to point out that THIS IS NOT A TECHNICALLY A FREEWAY. Yes kids.. About a 1/2 mile before Mussel Shoals to the south. And just as you pass Rincon from the north. You are not on the freeway anymore. There is busy cross traffic at two intersections, bikes, pedestrians, and cars parked along the road.

4.2 On any given Saturday or Sunday during the summer with everyone, I mean everyone heading to Santa Barbara, you would have an easier time walking across the top of cars than actually making the left turn. All that said. it's a matter of timing. Learning to time the speed of oncoming cars and what's makeable, learning the best time to leave, not caring about the time you will lose by going continuing south to the Sea Cliff off ramp and turning around. Or heading north to the u-turn or Bates Rd if you need to go south. If you have been drinking.. take the long way home!!!

4.3 Then there's getting to the beach. That's easy you just have to be flexible. The tunnel is only about 4' tall..

4.4 Oh yeah. It's loud and runs nonstop.. Till about 2am. Of course.. I can see Rincon from bed and it's about 2 minutes away on this same freeway..



So.. This wasn't really working out for Jenny... or Julia.. and now they are gone. To be fair. It's not just La Conchita, we just can't seem to live together. Too much fighting. Too much fighting over the exact same thing over, and over, and over again. Money (she makes twice as much as me, nearly 3 times. We use to have a joint account. Now everything is separate. And I am paying for half of everything. Cool.. now we can fight over who ate whose last avocado, grapefruit, turkey, whatever. That is dysfunctional and just plain lame. They sell freakin' Avocados 10 for a dollar just down the street. That's not counting the locals discount. ha.. My grapefruits’ on the other hand were like a buck each! That's something to complain about. lol..

We haven't been on a nice trip together since last May and then she takes off to go see friends in Hawaii with Julia. No big deal. I don't have that kind of money. That's why I try to live someplace where I can vacation year round from the comfort of my own home. This place is like a paradise we could enjoy ourselves right here. Christ I can see the place we were married from my bedroom balcony. But still.. We really need to try and get away, sorry trips to Mammoth don't count! My love language is sharing quality time. And to be honest my love tank is bone dry. Shot full of holes and leaking. I know her's is too.. But I gues I don't know how to fill it. If it's not money, it's the kids, or the fact that I choose not to work as much. It is hard to have a step family period. There is so much more but.. I think we still love each other. well.. hmm.. I don't know.. It's complicated..

"they say you got to choose your side.. and when it's done. nobody right.. nobody wrong"