"Hey, do you surf, man? Are you a surfer?"

Plastic is not healthy for children and other living things. Photo: Chris Jordan

"Oh, no... Not me, I'm just a garbage man."  Certainly one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies of all time, Big Wednesday. So I think about Bear every time I pick up a new piece of trash and it makes me smile. Bear and I have a lot in common actually. We both drink too much, lost our shops, ex wives, etc, etc, etc... Only real difference, I am a surfer, man.. And it's getting harder, and harder to keep my head in the sand regarding all this plastic and crap washing up on the beach.  So I adopted a one mile stretch of beach that runs about the middle of LC about a mile north to the now nearly infamous surf spot I call "the curve". It's called something else now. But then I still call Pipes, Stables,  Leo Carrillo, Secos,  Zeros, Nicholas Canyon, No way man.. that's Point Zero!!! Maybe it's just Zero. Fact checking is not a huge part of my writing arsenal, I often find a vague recollection will do.. None of those spots are on my route anyway. What's your point Don, you want a sign or something?

A garbage collectors best friends

Not really, I just thought it might inspire some other obsessive compulsive eco-kook like myself to go on a mission to clean up his beach, lake, park, or yard. I'm no saint, in fact for at least 25 years I was flicking lit cigarettes out the window of my Landcruiser. Hundreds of them, probably more. My van isn't exactly green, but I did recently buy a new electric bike that gets 1200 miles to the gallon, and I've been trying hard to keep that van in the driveway. So I have come up with a comprehensive list of criteria that needs to be met before I hop in van and blast five miles into town. Topping that list is the "you better have more than one thing to do in town or you're not going clause"  ie.. No running into to town just buy a carton of eggs when your neighbor would probably be happy to give you a couple. Now a twelve pack of Sierra Nevada on the other hand, is a lot to ask, not to mention carry on your back.  Note to self... Buy a case next time. I don't want too be to preachy here. Just sayin'.. I'm changing my world, and you can't stop me. Personally I'm about as optimistic as Yvon Chouinard on the matter of saving the earth, but I'm out there walking my dogs anyway so why not. It was that very point that I took to heart when KS11 put it out there on twitter.

Happy Birthday!

Anyway.. I think the cigarette butt usually tops the list during California's Annual Coastal Clean Up. But it's the plastic bottle cap, usually from a single use plastic beverage container that tops the list on my stretch of beach. Followed closely by tiny bits of broken up plastic. Yes, styrofoam sucks, as does discarded fishing line. Ok. Environmentally speaking, all foam sucks, including the pieces of rotted out surfboards lost years ago that occasionally break free from that seawall just north of here. Balloons are disgusting after they've been floating down the trash superhighway. Can you think of another way to say Happy Birthday, or I love you? No not doves! If you are not aware of this my friends, there is a place in the middle of the the ocean the size of Texas no, the size of France, where chemical sludge, fishing nets, tires, just about anything and everything that floats, even those seemingly harmless Rubber Ducks you have floating in your bath tub. To be sure there are more than a few broken surfboards in the mix, along with some of my other favorite petroleum based products like, wetsuits, sunglasses, wax, and my Mick Fanning signature Reef sandals with bottle opener on the bottom, and the plastic bags. Actually I think wax sinks. Yes, I have a vague recollection of watching my wax slowly disappear into the deep, and slipping all over my board the rest of the day, but the plastic bags, please...

Today's Haul

Fucking A.. Using two fucking plastic bags to carry a big bottle of laundry detergent that already has a built in handle is pure insanity, isn't it? Yhink about it. It's actually harder to carry that way. Ever have your wine drop out the bottom of one of those things. The bags are virtually useless, especially when you consider that almost everything thing we buy usually comes pre-packaged in plastic, or with a built in handle. I am proud to be part of a town that just adopted Ordinance No. 655. That being, Carpinteria's Plastic Ban Ordinance, passed only two weeks ago.  Now ask yourself, did we really have to make it a law to do the right thing?  I guess we did. The fines are $100, $200, $500, for consectutive offenses of passing a single plastic bag. But your town doesn't have to wait, Carpinteria Albertson's has been voluntarily bag-less for almost a year now and it works. Do you really want to wait for your city council to tell you what to do? SB? Ventura? California? World? 

I think we have a problem here.

There are scientists out there being paid good money to pick up trash, sort it out, and catalog it on beautiful remote south pacific islands. So maybe I'm an idiot to be doing it for free in LC, but I'm not the only one. The awesome ladies of La Conchita, which include the first woman to ever grace the cover of surfer magazine sweep through town every Monday, and have treats for your dog too!  Still, I realize that not all of you have dogs that wake you up at 6:45am sharp with their leash in their mouth ready to hit the beach. So being a garbage man is probably not an option for everyone. However, I just read about another idea called the "Save 10 Movement" Just try to save 10 pieces of trash from going in the water anytime your at the beach. I know what your thinking. You're going to put me out of a job. Don't even worry about it. I'm having no trouble filling a medium sized trash bag once a week, and sadly, I can't keep up with it. After the gale force winds we had over the weekend, a crap load of foam from a obviously destroyed boat came floating in. You know the kind of foam they inject into the bulkhead, and everywhere else to keep it afloat. Well it didn't work. I did a search to see if any small craft went missing that weekend, but really there's no telling where this came from. It could have come from anywhere, but it is very interesting how the trash flotilla basically stays together. The porta-potty,oil cans, krazy glue, pens, pencils, oven cleaner, gas cans, anything that didn't sink to the bottom washed up right here.  Pick 5, Pick 2, Pick 1, or just pick up after yourself.  At this point I'm probably preaching to the choir now anyway, but if even one person reads this and makes a change.. Then well, that's pretty cool, so thanks! 

Free Beer!

Yep... There is an unlimited amount of crap washing up on are shorelines every day, but believe it or not there are still people leaving their own trash behind on a daily basis. Fishermen top my list at the moment, followed closely by partiers who are simply unwilling, or afraid to pack up their empty beer cans. Sure they occasionally leave a full one for me, but where the hell have these people been living the past ten years. This is the new millennium, the environmental revolution, reduce, reuse, recycle,  elf, Jack Johnson. Remember the Indian with a tears running down his face. That was back in the seventies! You're telling me in the year two thousand and twelve, people actually think it's perfectly fine to leave their trash behind wherever they want? Whatever... Ok I'll pick it up for you, no worries. Sadly I'm sure the partiers and beach goers will eclipse anything the fishermen are doing as soon as we hit summer, but thats another story. "That's the lemon next to the pie"